In the recommended library, distro, real-world issues blew the code size up to 1000 lines of code and the open issue count to 15 – so while it's definitely useful, it doesn't seem either fully complete or trivial to maintain: https://github.com/nir0s/distro/blob/master/distro.py
If you can do better, please make a library to implement the simple name/value parsing, publish it on PyPI (sadly, as Yet Another Dependency at this point), make sure it's unit-tested, documented and widely useful in the real world, and *then* suggest inclusion in the standard library. That's how things get into the stdlib nowadays.

If that sounds like a lot of work, please consider your tone when asking others to do it.