Transcripts/Bad Thing No. 3

Transcript
Episode	Bad Thing No. 3
Previous	Cute-pocalypse Meow
Next	Pinkie Pie: Hyper-Helper
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[theme song]

Part 1[]

Pinkie Pie: [sighs] Just smell the morning air, Gummy. [deep sniff]

Gummy: [sniffs]

Pinkie Pie: So peaceful. So serene. It's like nothing bad in the whole world could ever—

[door opens]

Pinkie Pie: Aah!

[door closes]

Pinkie Pie: If this is another croissant caper, don't think you'll out-muscle me again! I know your tricks!

Rarity: [sighs]

Pinkie Pie: Oh, Rarity!

Rarity: Pinkie! Help! Something horrid has happened!

Pinkie Pie: Who did what?! Let me at' em! LET ME AT 'EM!

Rarity: It's almost too awful to say.

[crash!]

[door closes]

[poof!]

Rarity: [sighs] Ponyville's primary pony of propriety, Fancy Pants, has asked me to go for a stroll in the park!

Pinkie Pie: Um, and this is bad because... you don't want to go?

Rarity: Worse! I do want to go!

Pinkie Pie: Oh! That is awful! Wait. Why is that awful?

Rarity: "Why?", she asks. Why?! [laughs] Here's why.

[squeak]

[whoosh]

[shatter]

Rarity: [narrating] Yesterday, I was only slightly flaunting my new headband while putting a subtle fine touch on my garden, when suddenly...

Fancy Pants: Ah! My mirror!

Rarity: Fancy Pants!

Fancy Pants: Oh, how will I ever find such another lovely face to—? [gasps]

[romantic music]

Rarity: Oh! Didn't see you there. I was just casually having some potion my friend Pinkie gave me. [laughs nervously] Uh, would you like a sip?

Fancy Pants: No. I would love one!

Rarity: [gasps]

Fancy Pants: Would you like to go for a stroll in the park with me tomorrow eve?

Rarity: No. I would love to!

Fancy Pants: Ah! Then I'll see you tomorrow night!

[shatter]

Rarity: Ugh!

Fancy Pants: Oh, it seems your endearing clumsiness has resulted in a bad omen.

Rarity: Bad omen?

Fancy Pants: Well, you know what they say. Bad things happen in threes. Hopefully, our stroll won't be bad thing number three, eh? [laughs]

Rarity: [forced laughter] Yes! Terribly funny! How truly horrific! All right, Rarity. One bad thing happened. Nothing to worry about. [laughs nervously] Now, a second bad thing were to happen, and I'd really have to— Whoa! Oof!

[pounding]

Pinkie Pie: Oh. [laughs] Okay.

Rarity: My headband got covered in potion, Pinkie Pie. Now it won't stop revealing deep, dark truths to me.

Pinkie Pie: Huh. Wow.

Inner Pinkie Pie: [clears throat] Pinkie Pie. Sprinkles cannot fix every problem.

Pinkie Pie: [screams]

Pinkie Pie: That was horrible!

Rarity: So, you can see why bad thing number three absolutely must happen before my rendezvous with Fancy Pants.

Pinkie Pie: Wait, what?

Rarity: If it happens before the rendezvous, it won't happen at the rendezvous.

Pinkie Pie: That logic seems a little extreme.

[loud banging]

Rarity: Ooooh! This is it!

[crash!]

Fluttershy: Door was jammed. [giggles]

Rarity: [growls]

Fluttershy: [gasps] So cute!

Fluttershy: Huh?

Inner Fluttershy: You speak softly, yet you carry within you the most wondrous and terrifying force of all.

Rarity: Well? Was it bad?

Fluttershy: No. Nothing I didn't already know.

Gummy: [croaks]

Pinkie Pie: Let's just store this in the pantry for now, huh?

[zip!]

Rainbow Dash: Oh. You go for it.

Twilight Sparkle: No, you.

Rarity: Please don't fight! What's that? Your friendship is totally destroyed? Over such a silly misunderstanding? I never thought such a bad thing could happen! Ah, well. What can you do?

Rainbow Dash: Uh, Rarity, we're not in a fight.

[chomp]

Rarity: [screams]

Applejack: What's tuggin' your tail, Rarity?

Rarity: Bad things happen in threes. And darling, I'm on strike three.

[hiss]

Applejack: Don't you think it's just a bit of superstition? There's no logical reason that... Okay. She's walkin' away.

Rarity: That's it! This calls for more drastic action! Sabotage!

Rarity: [to herself] You impress me yet again, Rarity, you saucy sassy girl with a mane that won't quit. [to herself] Oh, so sweet. Thank you.

Applejack: Yikes.

Part 2[]

Pinkie Pie: Souffle week of the Royal Jelly Juggernaut is notoriously difficult. But with this recipe, I know I can pull it off.

Rainbow Dash: Noice! Huh? Mm.

Rarity: [deep, gravelly voice] Must make the bad thing happen!

Pinkie Pie: [reading incoherently]

Rarity: [deep, gravelly voice] If Pinkie Pie's recipe were to suddenly disappear... that would be a bad thing. [normal voice] [gasps] But I can't take Pinkie's recipe. She needs it to compete. [deep, gravelly voice] Not until next weekend. You can get it back to her by then. She will never be the wiser. Plus, you can make it up to her later. [normal voice] Hmm. All right. You do make a good point. [deep, gravelly voice] That was... easier than I expected. [normal voice] [gasps] Ah! So it's come to this! Come at me with your worst!

Gummy: [growls]

Rarity: [yells] Take this!

[thud]

[zip!]

Rarity: Hah!

Gummy: [croaking]

Rarity: [laughs, gasps] Ugh! [grunting] So... strong! Sweet victory! [yelling] Ugh. Huh? Not like this! [wails]

Rarity: [wails] Okay, too late. I'm here. Ominous, sure, but her eyeshadow's stunning! Bravo!

Inner Rarity: Rarity, bad thing number three will not happen at the park.

Rarity: Really? Then it was all worth it.

Inner Rarity: Because it has already happened. You are trapped here with me.

[clang!]

Rarity: [gasps]

Inner Rarity: Bad things do not happen in threes, but you sealed your own fate by focusing on the negative rather than living in the present.

Rarity: Okay, yes. Profound. Whatever. But seeing as I've already learned my lesson now, can't I still go to the park?

Inner Rarity: No. [laughs] While mere seconds have passed for you and I, the outside world has aged eons! [laughs]

Rarity: [screams]

[door opens]

Rarity: [hyperventilates]

Applejack: [gasps]

Inner Rarity: W-W-W-W-Wait. So I lied about this one thing. But nopony ever hangs out with me here! Oh. [scoffs] Where's my phone?

Rarity: Oh, Applejack! Twilight! And even young Pinkie! You're all here! How long was I gone? A week? A century?! Oh, what a foolish filly I have been. I suppose Fancy Pants has strolled on with another pony. Good. He deserves to be happy!

Twilight Sparkle: Uh, Rarity? You were gone for thirty-five seconds.

Fancy Pants: Oh, Rarity! Stroll time! Trot-trot!

Twilight Sparkle: "Trot-trot"?

Pinkie Pie: See? He's here!

Rarity: B-B-But—!

[zip!]

Rarity: But bad thing number three!

Pinkie Pie: You can't control it. Just go with the flow.

Rarity: You sure it's just a silly superstition?

Twilight Sparkle: One can never be completely sure— [muffled]

Applejack: Yup-solutely! You've been through bad things before. Whatever happens now, you can handle it.

Rarity: You're right! I have been prepared for the worst. Why not hope for the best?

Rarity: What a lovely sunset. It reminds me of the—

Fancy Pants: I've seen lovelier.

Rarity: Oh. Oh, well, uh, changing the subject—

Fancy Pants: Right. Back to what I want to talk about – me. Earlier today, I made the best point, immediately followed by the best joke. So I laughed and laughed until everypony left. And that's when I realized the most talented pony I ever met... was me.

Rarity: Wow. I was so nervous about going walkies with you that I didn't realize... I don't like you.

Fancy Pants: Uhhhh, excuse me?

Rarity: Bad thing number three! It's you!

Fancy Pants: Ohhhh, no-no-no, impossible. You see, I never come in third place. [laughs nervously, clears throat] As I was saying...

[zip!]

Pinkie Pie: "Sprinkles can't fix everything." [scoffs] Yeah, right!

Rarity: To be quite frank, the most enjoyable part of the whole thing was freaking out beforehand! [laughs]

[beat]

Rarity: Because I did it with all of you.

Pinkie Pie: Well, I'm glad you were able to stay in the moment, decide you weren't having fun, and go with the flow by hightailing it out of there.

Rarity: And I'm glad I didn't steal your souffle recipe, jeopardizing your performance and our friendship. [laughs]

Pinkie Pie: What?

Rarity: Nothing! Love you!

Mane Six: Awwwww!

[credits]

v • d • e My Little Pony Friendship is Magic — transcripts
Season one	Friendship is Magic, part 1 • Friendship is Magic, part 2 • The Ticket Master • Applebuck Season • Griffon the Brush Off • Boast Busters • Dragonshy • Look Before You Sleep • Bridle Gossip • Swarm of the Century • Winter Wrap Up • Call of the Cutie • Fall Weather Friends • Suited For Success • Feeling Pinkie Keen • Sonic Rainboom • Stare Master • The Show Stoppers • A Dog and Pony Show • Green Isn't Your Color • Over a Barrel • A Bird in the Hoof • The Cutie Mark Chronicles • Owl's Well That Ends Well • Party of One • The Best Night Ever
Season two	The Return of Harmony Part 1 • The Return of Harmony Part 2 • Lesson Zero • Luna Eclipsed • Sisterhooves Social • The Cutie Pox • May the Best Pet Win! • The Mysterious Mare Do Well • Sweet and Elite • Secret of My Excess • Hearth's Warming Eve • Family Appreciation Day • Baby Cakes • The Last Roundup • The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 • Read It and Weep • Hearts and Hooves Day • A Friend in Deed • Putting Your Hoof Down • It's About Time • Dragon Quest • Hurricane Fluttershy • Ponyville Confidential • MMMystery on the Friendship Express • A Canterlot Wedding - Part 1 • A Canterlot Wedding - Part 2
Season three	The Crystal Empire - Part 1 • The Crystal Empire - Part 2 • Too Many Pinkie Pies • One Bad Apple • Magic Duel • Sleepless in Ponyville • Wonderbolts Academy • Apple Family Reunion • Spike at Your Service • Keep Calm and Flutter On • Just for Sidekicks • Games Ponies Play • Magical Mystery Cure
Season four	Princess Twilight Sparkle - Part 1 • Princess Twilight Sparkle - Part 2 • Castle Mane-ia • Daring Don't • Flight to the Finish • Power Ponies • Bats! • Rarity Takes Manehattan • Pinkie Apple Pie • Rainbow Falls • Three's A Crowd • Pinkie Pride • Simple Ways • Filli Vanilli • Twilight Time • It Ain't Easy Being Breezies • Somepony to Watch Over Me • Maud Pie • For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils • Leap of Faith • Testing Testing 1, 2, 3 • Trade Ya! • Inspiration Manifestation • Equestria Games • Twilight's Kingdom - Part 1 • Twilight's Kingdom - Part 2
Season five	The Cutie Map - Part 1 • The Cutie Map - Part 2 • Castle Sweet Castle • Bloom & Gloom • Tanks for the Memories • Appleoosa's Most Wanted • Make New Friends but Keep Discord • The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone • Slice of Life • Princess Spike • Party Pooped • Amending Fences • Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep? • Canterlot Boutique • Rarity Investigates! • Made in Manehattan • Brotherhooves Social • Crusaders of the Lost Mark • The One Where Pinkie Pie Knows • Hearthbreakers • Scare Master • What About Discord? • The Hooffields and McColts • The Mane Attraction • The Cutie Re-Mark - Part 1 • The Cutie Re-Mark - Part 2
Season six	The Crystalling - Part 1 • The Crystalling - Part 2 • The Gift of the Maud Pie • On Your Marks • Gauntlet of Fire • No Second Prances • Newbie Dash • A Hearth's Warming Tail • The Saddle Row Review • Applejack's "Day" Off • Flutter Brutter • Spice Up Your Life • Stranger Than Fan Fiction • The Cart Before the Ponies • 28 Pranks Later • The Times They Are A Changeling • Dungeons & Discords • Buckball Season • The Fault in Our Cutie Marks • Viva Las Pegasus • Every Little Thing She Does • P.P.O.V. (Pony Point of View) • Where the Apple Lies • Top Bolt • To Where and Back Again - Part 1 • To Where and Back Again - Part 2
Season seven	Celestial Advice • All Bottled Up • A Flurry of Emotions • Rock Solid Friendship • Fluttershy Leans In • Forever Filly • Parental Glideance • Hard to Say Anything • Honest Apple • A Royal Problem • Not Asking for Trouble • Discordant Harmony • The Perfect Pear • Fame and Misfortune • Triple Threat • Campfire Tales • To Change a Changeling • Daring Done? • It Isn't the Mane Thing About You • A Health of Information • Marks and Recreation • Once Upon a Zeppelin • Secrets and Pies • Uncommon Bond • Shadow Play - Part 1 • Shadow Play - Part 2
Season eight	School Daze - Part 1 • School Daze - Part 2 • The Maud Couple • Fake It 'Til You Make It • Grannies Gone Wild • Surf and/or Turf • Horse Play • The Parent Map • Non-Compete Clause • The Break Up Break Down • Molt Down • Marks for Effort • The Mean 6 • A Matter of Principals • The Hearth's Warming Club • Friendship University • The End in Friend • Yakity-Sax • Road to Friendship • The Washouts • A Rockhoof and a Hard Place • What Lies Beneath • Sounds of Silence • Father Knows Beast • School Raze - Part 1 • School Raze - Part 2
Season nine	The Beginning of the End - Part 1 • The Beginning of the End - Part 2 • Uprooted • Sparkle's Seven • The Point of No Return • Common Ground • She's All Yak • Frenemies • Sweet and Smoky • Going to Seed • Student Counsel • The Last Crusade • Between Dark and Dawn • The Last Laugh • 2, 4, 6, Greaaat • A Trivial Pursuit • The Summer Sun Setback • She Talks to Angel • Dragon Dropped • A Horse Shoe-In • Daring Doubt • Growing Up is Hard to Do • The Big Mac Question • The Ending of the End - Part 1 • The Ending of the End - Part 2 • The Last Problem Clip shows: A-Dressing Memories • Cakes for the Memories • Memnagerie • Deep Tissue Memories • Harvesting Memories • Memories and More
Equestria Girls	Equestria Girls • Rainbow Rocks animated shorts • Rainbow Rocks • Friendship Games animated shorts • Friendship Games • Legend of Everfree • Dance Magic • Movie Magic • Mirror Magic • Summertime Shorts • Better Together (season 1) • Better Together (season 2) • Choose Your Own Ending (season 1) • Choose Your Own Ending (season 2) • Forgotten Friendship • Rollercoaster of Friendship • Spring Breakdown • Sunset's Backstage Pass • Holidays Unwrapped
Pony Life season one	Princess Probz • The Best of the Worst • How Applejack Got Her Hat Back • Cute-pocalypse Meow • Bad Thing No. 3 • Pinkie Pie: Hyper-Helper • The Trail Less Trotten; Death of a Sales-Pony • Bighoof Walking; The Fluttershy Effect • The Fast and the Furriest; Disappearing Act • Badge of Shame; Discord's Peak • A Camping We Will Go; Campfire Stories • Friendship Gems; Dol-FIN-ale • Potion Mystery; Sick Day • Meet Potion Nova!; Pony Surfin' Safari • All Bottled Up; All That Jitters • I, Cookie; Keynote Pie • Ponies of the Moment; One Click Wonder • Zound Off; Unboxing Day • Don't Look a GIF Horse in the Mouth; The Root of It • The Mysterious Voice; The 5 Habits of Highly Effective Ponies • Game Knight; Director Spike's Mockumentary • Whoof-dunnit; Dear Tabby • Pie vs. Pie; Superb Six • The Debut Taunt; Flutterdash • The Rarity Report; The Great Divide • The Great Collide; Sportacular Spectacular Musical Musak-ular
Pony Life season two	Cute Impact; The Crystal Capturing Contraption • The Comet Section; Cotton Candy-Colored Glasses • Close Encounters of the Balloon Kind; The Tiara of Truth • Terrorarium; Bubble Trouble • Time After Time Capsule; The Great Cowgirl Hat Robbery • Planet of the Apps; Back to the Present • Magical Mare-story Tour; Life of Pie • The Rarest of Occasions; Portal Combat • What Goes Updo; Communication Shakedown • Lolly-Pop; Little Miss Fortune • Playwright or Wrong; The Shows Must Go On • The De-Stress Ball; Mad Props • Magic is Ahoof; Journey to the Center of the 'Cord • One Last Wish; Wild Heart Beats
Miscellaneous	My Little Pony The Movie • My Little Pony Best Gift Ever • Friendship is Magic animated shorts • My Little Pony: Rainbow Roadtrip