Adds an optional third argument to `defineEventHandler()` to specify
an event name that is separate from the name used for the property.
This will be used, for instance, by the quic implementation to support
generating the `on...` events where the event name itself is hyphenated.
For instance `defineEventHandler(target, 'streamreset', 'stream-reset')`

Separated out from nodejs#44325

Signed-off-by: James M Snell <jasnell@gmail.com>